The end of the year

So after seeing half a million “what I’ve accomplished this year and therefore why I am so proud of myself” posts on my Facebook feed, I decided that maybe it was time to make my own.

I did a post at the end of 2017, giving myself goals to work on. I just reread this post, and for the most part, I think I sort of accomplished them? The first one was keeping up with this blog. It’s been on and off, but I know it’s always here for my venting needs. The second was finding ways to perform my own writing. This…I didn’t do. BUT since then, I’ve found other ways to write and find some inkling of success. It’s still a goal of mine to write and perform my own stuff–truly, I find nothing more rewarding–but I’ve also been writing books, which is pretty fun in its own way. The final goal I had for myself was not to go back to a job I hate. Well, I STILL don’t have a real person job, so I think I’ve succeeded in that front!

So this is what I accomplished this year. Yeah, maybe I’m still single and maybe I don’t have any kids and maybe I haven’t gotten another degree. But I feel like I’m finding happiness, and I think that’s more important than all that.

  • I traveled to a bunch of new countries–I’m at 26 now!
  • I rode a camel on my fucking birthday
  • I published two books
  • I began freelance editing fiction for a living
  • I began recording audiobooks, which is a fun way of saying I get to be an actor while staying in my pajamas
  • I started a podcast
  • I discovered I want to help rehabilitate animals in need, and have started an organization to do so
  • I moved into the best living situation I’ve ever been in

This year wasn’t all good, though. My time in Guatemala, although necessary to get to where I’m at today, was so hard. Watching your puppies die and not being able to do anything about it is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. I had a few panic attacks–but only a few–which reminded me that no matter what I do, my emotions are always going to be incredibly strong and will tell me what’s right for me, even if my brain isn’t sure.

I have a few goals for the coming year, but I’m going to try not to put TOO much pressure on myself to accomplish them, because I’m really good at finding ways to hate myself and that’s really not what I need right now.

First off, I feel like I’ve found a good mixture of stability and adventure, enough to keep me happy. That’s it–I feel HAPPY. I don’t want to be where I am forever, but I LOVE that I don’t know where I’ll be next. I’ve learned to embrace the unknowing. And because of all this, my goal now that I’m in a good place is to spread that. To help others. Opening up our Mayan Dog Rescue in Guatemala will hopefully be a way that I can start to do this. I leave January 22nd for Guatemala, and I don’t know when I’m returning.

I also want to take better care of myself, physically. The better I eat and the more I exercise, the more emotionally healthy I feel. I don’t want to set any weight goals or anything like that, that never helps me. I just want to start running more and maybe do some yoga and just be more active.

I also would like to publish at least three books this year. I have a three book series that I’m working on, and I want to do a quick release of these books, about a month apart. It will be a lot of work, but I need to focus on putting my own work before other peoples’ even if it pays well, because otherwise I’ll never get anything done.

Finally, I just want to continue to give myself permission to keep exploring. I don’t want my life to be a straight line. I want to continue to be surprised by what comes around the corner, to keep having new experiences, to never be afraid to try new things.

2018 was probably the best year of my life. I want 2019 to be better, not just for myself, but for everyone around me. LET’S DO THIS THING!!!

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