Today is…disgusting. It is pouring outside, so I guess that kind of kills my plans to walk around and sightsee all day. I’m in the small city of Chefchaouen, where everything is painted blue. And I’m really not going to see much of it.
Yesterday in Fez started out pretty decently. It was warm and sunny, and I met some friends in my hostel who were also heading to Chefchaouen that day. We all joined forces to find the ticket office (not an easy task) and then split a couple cabs to the bus station so that we didn’t have to walk 2 miles with all of our bags. My new friends were two Germans and two English guys, and while we were chilling out at a cafe across the street, I accidentally got into a very heated debate about American politics with one of the English guys. I really try not to get involved in that kind of stuff, but when people who literally don’t live in my country and aren’t affected by things the same way I am have stupid opinions, I can’t not say anything.
After about an hour we got on the bus for our four hour ride. It was during this four hours that the weather turned from lovely to absolute shit. I slept and watched a bunch of the new Queer Eye on my phone (so good, you guys) and we arrived in Chefchaouen at about 4:30.
We got two cabs again and I had THE WEIRDEST CAB RIDE OF MY LIFE. First of all, the car was completely falling apart; I wasn’t sure it would even make it to the hostel. And then the driver blasted auto-tuned Moroccan music, which all of us were clapping and dancing to while he drove terribly and almost killed us several times. But we did make it to our hostel without hitting anyone (woohoo!), checked in, and then walked through the rain to find some dinner.
I had probably the best tangine I’ve had yet, as well as tea (go figure), and some lentils, and paid less than $4USD for it all. After dinner, my four new friends wanted to go out to a bar, but I had a lot of work to do, so I stayed in and worked on my websites because I lead such an exciting life.
This morning I woke up to even more rain (buckets upon buckets), and all I’ve really done today is eat a not-big-enough hostel breakfast. I met a very strange Aussie who is very socially aggressive (he attacked me for asking “how long have you been traveling?” because it wasn’t “specific enough” whaaaat?) and now I’m probably going to hang out inside most of the day, because the idea of going outside is literally the least inviting thing ever right now. I’m a little disappointed that I’m not going to really enjoy this city: I’ve been hearing about how beautiful it is for a long time, and was so excited to see it. But there’s not much I can do about it, so I’ll just enjoy my day off today.
And here’s the deal, guys. I’ve gotten to the point where I change my clothes as little as possible, shower as little as possible, and generally try to stay warm and dry above all else. Morocco is only cold for a few months out of the year, so they don’t have the heating that I’m used to. I’ve been wearing the exact same clothes for 24 hours straight, and I don’t even care. I’ll shower in a week.
Speaking of which, I’m done in a week. One week. I can’t believe how quickly- and slowly- these last five months have gone by. Discomfort, moving constantly, doing whatever I want when I want, that’s my new normal. Looking after myself, deciding how much to trust strangers, taking risks, avoiding laundry…it’s just my life now. But a big part of me is ready to be done for awhile, to settle down for a few months. I want to create things, build things, and it’s hard to get started when you’re on the road. If I’m not making things, I don’t feel entirely myself, and that’s the biggest thing I’ve found missing in the last few months – this crazy need of mine to create and tell stories. Which objectively is silly, because I’ve been working on this blog this entire time. But it’s not enough.
As much as I’d like to, I can’t just go through life moment by moment, never thinking ahead, never looking for more. That’s kind of what I tried to do, and while I’ve gotten better at going with the flow, I’m learning what’s important to me: creating something bigger than just myself. Reaching more people. Telling the stories I want to tell. So even if my traveling adventures will be taking a pause, my life adventures won’t be. I have things to do.