I wish I was one of those people who can just feel a certain way, and that’s that. But no. I have to have completely contradictory feelings about everything so I never know if I’m actually satisfied with something or not.
This is how my experience in Fez has been. So many contradictions. I’ve had some of my best moments here and some of my worst, and I’ve been here for less than two full days. I still don’t know how I feel about Morocco, as a whole. I’ve had some incredible days and seen some beautiful things, but it’s not an easy life here.
Back in Merzouga – the desert town, if you’re just joining the convo – I spent my last few hours hanging out and enjoying the company of my new friends and incredible host. He even took me out for coffee and orange juice and wouldn’t let me pay for it. As wonderful and delicious as this was, in retrospect the coffee was a terrible idea because I was taking an overnight bus at 7 that night.
So yeah, due to what I assume was a combination of caffeine and a very bumpy and uncomfortable bus ride, I barely slept at all that night. It didn’t help that by the time I finally actually got to sleep, I was woken up by arriving at my destination – Fez – at 4am. I’m really lucky it was the last stop because I definitely would have slept right though it.
My introduction into the city was…not the best. Immediately as I was disembarking the bus, the typical guys came up to me: “Are you lost?” “Where are you going?” “Where are you from?” “What is your name?” At this point, I’m honestly pretty used to this, but I was tired and really not in the mood to deal with it. So I just responded with a rather curt “Nope, I’m good, don’t need help.” And then one of the guys got super gross. Started passively aggressively yelling shit at me, saying “She sad because no boys want to fuck her” and shit like that. I just rolled my eyes and walked towards the cabs, which were thankfully right there. I halfheartedly tried to haggle but didn’t really care, I just wanted to leave, but luckily the drivers weren’t trying to totally rip us off there and I only paid about 30 durhams (about $3USD) for the ride to my hostel.
WHICH WAS SCARY. The driver was in a fight with another cab driver for some reason, and they were like racing each other and screaming out the window at each other at every single light. But he took me right to my hostel, and even walked me down the block to show me the right door. Super nice guy.
I hadn’t booked a bed for that night (my bus got in a little earlier than I expected) so I just crashed on one of the couches downstairs in the common area. I still got free breakfast in the morning, which was nice – and I’m definitely beginning to love Moroccan breakfasts. So many delicious carbs – they have about fifteen different ways of serving them, between crepe things and different crepe things and pitas and bread and this hard pastry thing. Yogurt, cheese, fruit, veggies, honey, jams…just, so good. But like, especially all the carbs.
My entire plan for the day was to walk around and get lost in the Medina. I did this for a couple hours, but then I found an adorable kitten who was obsessed with me. He was so tiny and so sweet. I sat petting him on my lap for a good fifteen minutes, and then a man down the street with a shop invited me to sit in his chair with the kitten for a few minutes. We talked as much as we could communicate, and then his daughter (I think?) came over. She was about twelve, and her English was pretty solid. We talked for awhile also, and then she introduced me to her friend, who loves cats. The first little girl was telling me I needed to get the kitten cleaned up and get him shots if I was going to keep him, and after awhile she offered to take me into her house to wash him!
I felt so special. We went inside, and I met the girl’s two younger sisters, and against Kitten’s wishes, we washed him with warm water and a little soap, and I wrapped him in my scarf to dry him off and keep him warm. I couldn’t believe how trusting and welcoming the girls were – that’s not a thing that would EVER happen in America.
After all this, I walked to my hostel with the kitten to dry him more and warm him up. I basically spent the day taking care of him and playing with him – I fed him some tuna, gave him water, and snuggled with him. He loved me so much and followed me around, and always had to be on top of me or smooshed into me. I researched every possible way of getting a cat from Morocco to the US, but there really was nothing I could do. None of the companies really ship from Morocco to NY, and otherwise I would have to rebook all my flights and fly with him, which was also impossible due to vet timing and regulations on importing animals.
The thing is, I knew it wouldn’t be practical to keep him – or at least, to get him home. I knew it wouldn’t be cheap or easy, and I am perfectly aware that there are a million other animals that also need help, even back home. But I was reminded of that story about the man walking along the beach, throwing the starfish back into the ocean. There are so many, how could he even make a difference? He throws one back in the ocean, smiles, and says, “it made a difference for that one.” And that’s how I feel about rescuing animals. You can’t save them all. But if you fall in love with one, you can at least change the entire world for that one animal.
Back home, there are at least resources. There are tons of organizations that rescue animals and rehome them and everything, and while there is still a long way to go, we are much further along with this than some countries. Because here, there are no resources. Cats are pests here. They aren’t fixed or taken care of and rarely even fed. They are left to fend for themselves. And as much as I desperately want to figure out a way to start an organization in some of these countries dedicated to rescue, education (especially about spaying/neutering), adoption, and building free and low-cost clinics, all I can do right now in this moment is save this one kitten.
Except I couldn’t even do that. And I felt…more than terrible. Because this kitten trusted me unconditionally. I know it sounds like I’m being dramatic, and I probably am. But just leaving him back out on the street was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
Anyway, so that was a pretty rough night. And then dinner through the hostel took way too long and I hadn’t eaten all day which was probably making me even more emotional than I already was and then I cried and watched Netflix and fell asleep.
Today was yet another surprising day in Morocco. I was determined to not get too attached to any animals as I walked around the Medina again. The goal is basically to get lost, which is super easy to do – I don’t know how people DON’T get lost. But it was much nicer than I expected, once I found the cool areas. I had to be bitchy to a few guys and yell at them for following me until I finally found where all the really cool shopping is. And I had a WONDERFUL time.
The artisans are usually just sitting outside and doing their work, which is fascinating to watch. One of the coolest moments I had, though, was in a huge carpet shop. I told the before I went in that I wasn’t interested in buying, and I just wanted to look, but he insisted on showing me around and teaching me about the intricate work they do – and then he asked me if I wanted to go upstairs to see the women weaving! I was like um YES, so we went up to the looms. There were about five women working SO FAST on these giant looms, and they let me sit down next to one woman and she taught me how to do it and I did like, ten stitches on a carpet! It was SO COOL. And they weren’t mad that I didn’t buy anything.
I ended up making a couple purchases, including one of those big wool sweater things that I’m in love with. The guy that sold it to me was so sweet, and invited me for tea (which I politely declined) and then dinner later (which I politely declined). And then I had some great conversation with some of the guys right outside his shop as well. But apparently the tea stuff is a thing here. Because another guy earlier invited me to a dinner and language exchange thing tonight, and then another guy invited me for tea (I finally said yes this time) and dinner (still no). We were literally just sitting down in his shop, and I didn’t buy anything, and he wasn’t mad. It’s just what they do here – they kept telling me that it’s just about hospitality and they say it brings them good luck. And THEN an older gentleman at one of the shops loved me and kept telling me how nice and sweet I was, because I guess a lot of tourists aren’t. And then HE invited me for tea and I was like THANK YOU YOU’RE SO SWEET BUT I JUST HAD TEA. They were just all so genuinely nice and friendly, which was such a difference from some of the gross guys on the street.
So yeah. Today was pretty good. Talked to a lot of locals, made some friends. Still an exhausting country for sure, but this city is growing on me. Now I just have to do something about the cats.