Airport Security

Minus my unfortunate status as generally being an overemotional deadweight, it’s been a pretty great weekend.

Thursday night in Tel Aviv (also known as fake Friday night in Genevieve terms) was lovely: I met up with my friend that I had met in Ireland for dinner and drinks. We reminisced about our time together, caught up on our lives, and I made sure she knew that a guy we were hanging out with there was actually poophead.

I found my way back to the hostel that I was secretly keeping my stuff at even though I wasn’t staying there (this may or may not have also been a hostel that I stole free breakfast from when I wasn’t staying there.) My friends had been out all day, so it was the only place I could think of that I could store my backpack so I wouldn’t have to carry it around all day. And it was a really close walk from their apartment, so whatever. I grabbed my bag, walked back to their place, and we hung out for a few hours before going to bed way later than we should have.

The next day, we went to breakfast at a cafe around the corner from them. I learned two things there: 1.) what a true Israeli breakfast is (veggies, eggs, cheese, tuna, bread, and deliciousness) and 2.) that people are dumbfucks and don’t know how to close doors when it’s cold outside. Then it was time for soooooome…SHOPPING! But not like shopping the way you think of it, shuk shopping. For pizza ingredients. And cookie ingredients. Because we wanted to make pizza. And cookies. Also wine. Which we found accidentally for like STUPID CHEAP.

So we bought our stuff, which took a little while and was pretty dramatic because of the extreme downpour that was happening simultaneously, and the super fun street flooding. But we managed to get everything we needed, and headed back home. We pretty much spent the rest of our day cooking and baking and I may have ruined some cookies and watching some TV. Not bad for a rainy Saturday. (But it was actually Friday. See why these days are confusing? Just pretend it was Saturday.)

A friend came over that evening, and we ate our creations, and then we headed to meet some more people for Settlers of Catan. But in Israel they just call it Catan. Like, that’s the only thing on the box. Also the pieces are plastic instead of wood and the roads are ALL ON HILLS WHICH MAKES NO SENSE. Also we were tired and didn’t feel like thinking and lost the game.

The next day, we all slept in, probably because it was another stupid rainy day. Of COURSE I come to Israel like the one week out of the year it actually hardcore rains. We ordered a breakfast of this Israeli shit that I forgot the name of, but is basically just like dough and butter all rolled up and it’s way too delicious and please don’t tell me how bad it is for me, I don’t want to know. We went to a cafe for awhile, watched a movie with a friend while I finished all the popcorn, and then we all went out to a traditional Israel dinner. Just kidding, it was Mexican. Margaritas are an important group in Genevieve’s food pyramid.

Okay, you are probably bored out of your mind reading about my tame weekend that apparently just involved food, but it was actually one of the best weekends I’ve had on this trip in a lot of ways. Sometimes it’s nice to spend time with people and prepare food and eat it. Errands can be fun with the right people. Shitty weather doesn’t have to mean a shitty time. Plus, I was hanging out with one of my best friends in the world, and that’s not an experience that can be replicated with anyone else, no matter how many new people I meet.

Before we went to bed last night, my friends thought it would be a great idea to watch an episode of Black Mirror, my first time seeing the show. NEVER EVER WATCH THIS BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP. I DID NOT SLEEP FOR A LONG TIME. I HAD TO RECOVER VIA MULTIPLE RICK AND MORTY EPISODES AND THOSE WERE STILL TOO INTENSE SO I HAD TO SWITCH TO THE GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW. So then I didn’t sleep like, at all before waking up at 4:50 am for my flight.

Let me just say this: the Ben Gurion Airport is just STUPID. Like, really stupid. It’s set up so dumbly and confusingly that it’s impossible to figure out where to go without asking people. And then when you ask them, they are NOT HELPFUL. First of all, I almost missed the airport entrance from the train because it was not clearly marked. And then I got into the wrong line because apparently I had to go through a screening thing before security. And then I got in the wrong line after security. And then I went to the line WHERE THEY TOLD ME TO GO for security, waited like at least half an hour behind this HUGE crowd of people, while everyone around me was freaking out because they had flights leaving in 20 minutes, and then finally got up to the lady and she was like umm, you’re in the wrong security line. I was like whaaaat is happening. So this other lady led me back through the crowd, I got yelled at by a woman telling me I was about to hit her kid in the head with my bag or something (DON’T YOU SEE I’M GOING AGAINST TRAFFIC AND HAVE NO CONTROL OF WHERE I’M GOING AND MAYBE MOVE YOUR DAMN KID OUT OF MY WAY) (also I wasn’t anywhere near her kid), and finally made it back to the Super High Security. No idea if it was because I was flagged, or randomly selected, or foreign, but they took about 20 minutes to search all my things. First with a wand EVERYWHERE, and I had to take out like everything, and then it still had to go through the scanner like three times. And THEN I finally got through, got in line for passport control, and then got up there and they were like jk lol, you need to do the electronic thing. Of course, that didn’t WORK, so I went right back to where I started, and I had to do it in person. Which was the ONLY thing that went smoothly, ironically. They didn’t ask me a single question, printed my exit visa, and handed me everything with a smile. WHAT. Oh, and THEN, when I got to my gate, it was last call for the flight before mine, and they were holding the shuttle because people were running super late because security was so nuts. The lady at the gate was YELLING at people, like super aggressively, for being late to their gate. Now I’m usually the one to side with employees because customers are dicks, but these poor people were just trying to make their flight and then they get screamed at for things they can’t control! Well, it at least kept me entertained.

So here I sit, back in Athens for my layover, waiting for my stupid gate to be announced. I’m getting excited for Istanbul, and crossing my fingers I have no trouble with my visa or like, getting to the hostel I just booked (for ten bucks a night what). Here we go!

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