What. A. Whirlwind. I honestly don’t even know where to start. But I’ll give it a shot.
The last time we spoke, I was about to embark on an overnight bus to London. It was pretty much just as terrible as I imagined, but it’s not as if it’s the first time I’ve ridden an overnight bus. I survived, I made a few friends along the way who gave me some tips, and at 6am the next morning I arrived in London.
It was still dark, and it was crowded and overwhelming. My first thought was, “I’ve pushed myself too far, I can’t do this, too scary, mistake mistake mistake.” This was probably made much worse by the fact that I was exhausted, hungry, and really really really had to pee and couldn’t find anywhere free and I had literally no coins on me. So with my backpack’s hip strap pressing dangerously on my bladder, I whipped out Google Maps and walked the forty minutes to my hostel.
Most hostels in London are either a) really expensive or b) super far from everything and a long commute into the city. I got lucky with the one I found: it was only about $20 a night and not far at all from the city center. And like, the main part of it was a pub, with beds upstairs. It didn’t have that “hostely vibe” that I love, but it was cheap and convenient. So I sat down for a bit, figured out some places I wanted to hit, and went off into the city.
It only took me about ten minutes or so to completely fall in love. It’s a huge city, but has beautiful old buildings. It has a lot of energy, but it isn’t overwhelming like New York. People are generally pretty friendly, and it felt so alive and welcoming. Probably the worst thing about it was the entire time I was there I probably only saw a dozen dogs or so. Dogs are the best.
That first morning, I went to see Big Ben, which was 100% under construction. Like completely covered in scaffolding; you could hardly even see the clock face. I also went to Westminster Abbey and took lots of pictures and just wandered about like a tourist for a good while. I spent several hours in the National Gallery, which is giant collection of beautiful paintings. I did find it a bit disturbing because there were approximately eight million renditions of Jesus’s crucifixion, which I find unendingly disturbing. Aside from that collection though, the gallery is enormous and has a little bit of everything. I had barely slept for 48 hours, so I went back to my hostel to chill out for a bit, and met an Argentinian guy that was staying in my room.
Then, it was time for me to go see some London theatre. Naturally I picked Aladdin.
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And it was…ehhhh. I mean, I wouldn’t go so far to say that it was bad, necessarily…it just could’ve been a lot better. It should’ve been a lot better.
First off, there were (obviously) more songs than in the original Disney movie. And most of them were terrible. They were completely nonspecific and shallow, and just kind of seemed like songs that I could have written if I wanted to write a Musical Theatre Song overnight. Ugh. And the worst part was that some of these songs were written in a range that wasn’t what the rest of the characters’ tracks were in. So Jasmine had to sing this song that was clearly too low for her, and it was a new song. Like, write the song in the same range as Jasmine’s other songs guys!
They also added this stupid plotline that Aladdin’s mother just died and he’s trying to make everything up for her as his motivation…which is just stupid, because the whole point of the character in the first place isn’t that he steals for FUN, it’s that he ended up in a shitty situation and he steals because he has to eat. So even though they were trying to justify Aladdin being a good guy, it made him seem more like a bad guy at heart. So dumb.
Finally, many of the casting and directing choices weren’t stellar. Aladdin was a great singer and dancer, but he was the type of actor that is clearly much more comfortable singing his lines than acting them. It made all of just acting seem false and overdone. Jasmine was a decent singer, and honestly a terrible actor. She stood there stiffly and just said her lines, and they didn’t mean anything to her. Sometimes she even put the emphasis on the wrong word so that she was saying something that didn’t make sense. She was not good at acting through her body at all, and had no idea how to use it to express. The only time she wasn’t just standing was when the director had clearly told her “hey, lift up your hand here!” It was so frustrating to watch because I know so many people who could do the role better. And there were several moments in the show where there were like five actors onstage just STANDING IN A LINE. WHERE IS YOUR DIRECTOR?
But there were good things. The genie was fabulous, and instead of trying to copy Robin Williams, they made him over the top in a different way. He was a presentational sassy gay man, but not TOO much. He broke the fourth wall and completely sucked the audience in, and was also a wonderful singer and very genuine actor, and a true joy to watch. Jafar and Iago were pretty solid as well. Also, cool effects. Like NO IDEA how they got the flying carpet to work, but it did and holy crap. The ensemble was great, as well as the showstoppers (“Friend Like Me” and “Prince Ali.”)
ANYWAY ENOUGH THEATRE CRITICISM. The next day was wonderful. I started at the Globe – I did the tour and went through the small museum and read EVERYTHING. The Globe reconstruction is only about 20 years old, but it took a decade to build because they did it nearly exactly as they would have in Shakespeare’s time, using the same materials and the original floor plan. I had prepared myself to be a little emotional when I first walked in, but I didn’t expect to actually tear up. It was just so much more than I expected. It’s so big, it’s so
I planned my route so I would cross London Bridge, just so I could say I did. It was a bridge.
Leicester Square is the place to go to get discounted theatre tickets, and that was the day a new Christmas market popped up there. I bought some earrings from a lovely gentleman who I stood and talked to for about 20 minutes – he’s a composer for movies, so we had a lot to talk about. I’m curious to get more people’s opinions now on the theatre scene in London from a performer’s standpoint; he seemed to think it wasn’t nearly as difficult to get work there as it is in US cities, and that if you make something, people WILL see it. Afterwards, I spent a little time at the British Museum, which is ENORMOUS and overwhelming and so cool. London museums are way cooler than American museums because they’re free, and most things aren’t away in glass cases – you can get right up close to them, and some things you’re even allowed to touch.
After a rather unsettling and overpriced dinner at an uncomfortably posh restaurant, it was time to see “The Comedy About a Bank Robbery.” It was hilarious, inspiring, and caused me to have an “aha!” moment. Basically, this play was a farce, but it wasn’t just a farce. It also incorporated elements such as singing, finding multiple uses for props, creative ways to stage difficult things like chase scenes, and some absolutely absurd ridiculousness. It also got very physical – in one scene there were actors sitting sideways on the back wall, and in another they were climbing in “ducts” across the top of the proscenium. Not only was it laugh out loud funny, but it was completely different from anything I’ve ever seen, and is exactly the type of theatre I see myself doing.
It also caused my latest epiphany. I had this realization that I just haven’t been doing what I truly want to be doing as an artist, and that I actually have the power to do it. Comedies – ridiculous, fast-paced, farcical comedies – are incredibly difficult to write and stage, and therefore aren’t performed often. I also think that they are less respected than “real” drama. But this play made me realize that I can audition and audition and audition, but I may never get to do a project like THAT. And that’s what I’m built for, and what I want to be doing. I’m auditioning for a lot of projects that I’m not quite right for and not seeing a lot of what I actually want to do, so I need to make it myself. And I guess I’ve kind of realized this before, but this production reminded me that a play doesn’t have to be just one thing: it can incorporate all sorts of elements. I’ve half-assed trying to write before, but I haven’t invested the kind of time or energy into it as I could be. I dropped everything in my life to do this trip; I know realize that I can drop everything in my life and make the kind of theatre I actually want to be doing. I’ve been too scared in the past, but that’s got to change.
Anyway. That evening was lovely – I spent it with my Argentinian friend, a Bolivian guy, and a German girl. We played darts and drank illegal beer (illegal because it was from the supermarket, not the bar we were sleeping at.)
I spent the next day with the Argentinian. We watched the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace (so crowded), went to the Wallace Collection (so much bigger than it looks from the outside), and then ate and had a few drinks. The two of us had such a great time together, and it’s always a new experience to explore a city with a friend instead of alone.
Because I had enjoyed the other play so much, I had bought tickets to the other comedy playing, by the same company, called “The Play that Goes Wrong.” This one is also playing in NY, and I’m pretty sure I saw an advertisement for it in Scotland. Anyway. It was also just incredible. It was more of a traditional farce, but it got SO RIDICULOUS. Like I don’t want to give anything away, but Act II completely blew my mind. The funny didn’t stop. And there were only seven actors, which I found really exciting – they all had a huge role. It brilliant and inspiring.
When I got back to my hostel, it was a bit after ten, and I had the rest of my evening all planned out: I was going to do some writing and make myself stay up downstairs in the bar until around 2:30, when I would catch a bus to head up north to the airport I was flying out of to get to Prague at 6:30am. I was very excited to not have to pay for anywhere to sleep (again) but also sad that I wasn’t going to get to sleep (again.) Sometimes, however, the evening has very different things in store than what you had planned.
HEY MOM AND DAD YOU PROBABLY WANT TO BE DONE READING THIS RIGHT ABOUT HERE.
I was just finishing up my disgusting one pound pot noodles from Tesco Express when English Guy #1 started talking to me. He bought me a beer (mistake number one) and then bought me another beer (mistake number two). I drank them a little faster than normal perhaps (mistake number three) and also still probably had some remnants of alcohol in me from drinks I had with my friend and during the show (mistakes four and five). Also barely ate anything all day (I’m losing track of mistakes, I’m sure you can figure it out yourself.) Some other people sat down with us after a bit, and before long English Guy #2 appeared by my side. Then a third beer happened, English guy #1 left, and English Guy #2 was kissing me. Whoops.
At this point, it was about 1 something in the morning. And I had two options: I could do the responsible thing and catch my bus that I had already paid for, to catch the flight that I had already paid for, to go to the hostel that I had already paid for (the next night.) ORRR…I could say screw it and do what I actually wanted to do because my flight was only $14 and figure out my life in the morning. So I had a super fun night, and for the first time in my life I missed a flight – and did it on purpose.
This left me in a very precarious situation this morning. I really did want to go to my next destination, Prague, today, because flights over the weekend get insanely pricey. Unfortunately, we woke up around 11, and there were hardly any flights left, most of them pretty expensive. Definitely not $14. With our combined powers of research, we managed to find me a flight at 2:20 for not too much money. Unfortunately, I still had to somehow get to the airport in time – we eventually figured out that my best bet was to Uber to the train station to get an express train to the airport and cross my fingers that I made it on time because it was already almost noon. BUT THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT MAKE LIFE EXCITING. I’m currently on the plane. Miracles happen, guys.
London was amazing. I’m so glad I’m learning to go with the flow, say yes to things, and be open to plans changing at a moment’s notice. This was long, and if you’ve read all this I’m very impressed. Can’t wait to see what Prague brings!